Hmmmpfh....

Me : What's my favourite part on your body... ?!?!?!
She says : Too many to pick.. But Neck???
I say : Hmm.. yeah I would just die for it :)
She says : Nooo.. don't say that baby
I say : Ok.. Then your Neck is something I'd live forever :)
AND SHE SMILES :) :)

AND I GO HAPPY : ) :) :)

Why are you Running Away?!?!

I don't want you, to give it all up
And leave your own life, collecting dust
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side
To tell me, that everything's alright
I just wanted you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I
Was willing to give, and sacrifice
And I was the one, who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that, I can do
To make you, change your mind

Why are you running away babie?!?!?!

After all its our birthday tomorrow!!!

...as one day i was talkin to a friend of mine....my thoughts just drifted......i realised how difficult it is to forget things...get over things...see the dreams which we have adorned our lives with crubble to nothin in the front of our very eyes...by telling to someone else..you might just feel a bit comfortable..but it is u who has to give yourself a push and move on...people around you who care for you shower you with all the ideas they think can help you to come out...and as a dutiful person i tried it out...some say...hey..just dont think about it...as if it as easy as sipping a cup of tea...but there it goes..i tried that...but realised by pushing your thoughts..they accumulate and one day it becomes a saturation point..and there you crash down completely...another said....it is all meant for the good...don bother ...just receive it smile....i mean...give me a break!!...it is something you have dreamt of...it is something you have related yourself with..and when it ceases to exist...it actually takes you qite some time to actually sometime to come to terms with it...and now people who have been with you and felt it as beautiful as evr..now say..it was never meant to be that way...doesn it sound ridiculous!!>...i just cant understand how can people change their mindsets..just like that...when they say they do it themselves...i guess there are 3 possibilities...1) they are being unbelievable...2) or they are just in vain trying to console....3)..they are simply lying through their teeth!!!....i then realised...as grateful i am to those who were desperate in sharing my woes...there is little what they can do about that...as ma best Friend says...."its a process...allow urslf to go through it:p"....i guess that is the best thing...i guess relationships are the only things that can rip your soul apart yet make you feel absolutely beautiful!!!....sighhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Rand"umb"om again :P

there any chance you will kiss the person you have feelings for?
eh no !! Far away is far too long:P

Who was the last person you talked to before you fell asleep last night?
uh... Information Security Manager Suhas in the cab... oh no actually my Aunt :D

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
eh lets count...1..2...3...4...6........8 ... yup 8 hours!

Where did you sleep last night?
excuse me!!!! sigh.... eh in my red bed ya!

Are you legal to drink?
I am not sure whether I m legal or not! but drinking at my age sure is!

What's the closest black thing to you?
My wallet!! That’s enough ya…

When is your birthday?
In another two months, but I share birthday with someone else who is very close to my heart ya..

What color shirt are you wearing?
As of now nothing!!!

Do you have a best friend?
Eh yeah... But seriously don’t know if he feels the same

What are you saving your money up for right now?
A car!! or a vacation... the budget of whichever matches first!

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
Why not!! But I must wear a shirt

Do you have any jewelery on?
Eh No..

What flavor ice cream did you last have?
Mango, Strawberry, hehe 10-D power lunch compliment :)

How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three... and with my guitar sometimes

How was last weekend?
FUNNNN!!!

Can you recall the last time you liked someone?
2 minutes back and i still do i guess :)

Who was the last person's voice you heard?
My granny’s..

What kind of pizza was the last kind you had?
Peppwerwerweoni.. Eh seriously that was a waste!

Have you had the chicken pox?
yuppp....Helped me in a big deal to bunk school!

What's your current problem?
Many ya!

Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Very much!!! Yes

Do you wear your seat belt in the car?

When i get one we shall see!

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
Winter! With lesser than 20 degrees please

What was on your mind mostly today?
Work & HER!

Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
ess ya.... too many to mention

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
Nope!!!!!

What was the highlight of last night?
Cup noodles and eating that alone like a greedy pig!

Do you hate anyone?
Well, A nowadays the list has gone long!

In the next 5 months, what are you looking forward to most?
To be on a holiday every month :P

Whats the last thing that made you happy?
Dreaming about her almost everyday

Do you wish you had the chance to tell someone something right now?
Yeahhhhhhhhh

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Hmm! Anith…had called up for a 3.30am pongal meet J

Have you ever wasted too much time on a certain boy or girl?
esss... but isnt it called thinking :P

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
it would be nice if she did... but I told ya “ Far away is far too long”

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
ess ya.. but ppl cant be perfect!

At this moment in time, do you wish you could trade places with someone?
Yeah…Hongkong J

What color is your hair?
Black! Totally

What's the weather like outside?
I dunno :D

What did you do last night?
WHAT IS WITH LAST NIGHT!!!??

If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be?
No one!

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
Yessssss...

Do you want to fix things with anybody?
Yup!

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Yup, haffily.
What do you do during a thunderstorm?
Watch a movie with friends!

When is the last time you were amused?
Been so long!

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
eh no.. I dont give life so many chances also!

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from?
“Levis” “ Le-wise “ J

Where is your best friend right now?

No one is that busy. one at home sleeping, One works for SBI,One in google, One in Deccan Chronicle... lol

Have your parents ever searched your room or personal belongings?
eh no... my mom is cool!

Have you ever been caught skipping class?
Eh not caught but i have skipped class, got even by my HOD and then said hi to him and continued skippin :P

Ever been suspended?
My college would never dream of doing that!!

When is the last time you wanted to be over something/someone?
No mood ya!

Have any plans for the summer?
Summer is OVER!!!

Can you honestly say that you're okay right now?
Hmmm, No!

What is the shortest time you can take getting ready in the morning?
5 min!!

Listen to Miley Cyrus for 4 hours straight or go skydiving?
Go jump!!

Do you find it difficult to sleep on your stomach?
No i love it!

Is there someone you will never forget?
Everyone i meet!

Would you like to put last night on repeat, and live it forever?
Hmm yeah :D

Have you ever shouted at random people from inside a moving car?
Yuppppp.. all the time!!

Has anyone told you they loved you in the last week?
Yess ya :)

Last time you were on the phone?
last night!

Who was the last person to text you?
he he Vodafone :D

J Few things which would make me do the “Tongue out” smiley!

I wanna Sing for you so much!!

I've learnt to sing so many songs. . . So many songs that would make sense only to you. .
I remember once you gave me a wake up call when i was fast asleep. . You sang "Pehla nasha" for me. .I was so touched by the way you treated me like your new born :P. . Now I've learnt the song so much that I wanna sing only for you!! I know the lyrics without any error.. I even googled for the meaning. . You're not here to translate anything and everything you see. . I miss you much. .I miss you so much that I'm getting tears when im writing this. .

Listen to me sing soon. . I'm the man of your dreams. . I will always be!!!


Always Yours- Aksie Boyie. .

Random!

Things on my on a sunday!

• Cold ( Why not on a sunday?? )
• HairCut
• New shirt
• Madhu's wedding
• Gifts
• Movie
  
• Sathyam
  
• Office folks
• Fun!
• 3D animation movie
• Sun
• Fried Fish
• Beer
• Chicken
• Music
• Clubbing
  
• Bikes
• Hopes ( U know. . . )

May 28th 2008 - This is how it is!

I have thousands of memories falshing on my mind and I'm fiding this day way difficult than any to go through on this day of the year! May 28.. The reason I started a new blog is to pen down all the pain that I will go through when you left me alone in this world. I don't really remember the date you left me alone. I really didn't make a note because I thought we were on a fight. I was not gonna belive it even if you had told me by yourself. My faith was so strong on our relationship. I just needed some proof here and there which I never got at the right time. Our relationship was growing well and we were moving further so very well.




It was those few days where we lost the grip on each other. The days we never met. The days we never spoke much. Even if I was the reason for everything that happened, you didn't have to leave me alone like this, because everytime something bad happened we were finding each other's arms as the last resort. I'm sure you'll remember the mail which you had sent me once for leaving you alone on a night without switching on my phone. You told me that you were literally gasping to breath that night. I don't know how you could you even imagine my emotions about how I'd be feeling every night without you. Don't think I'm used to all this that. All this i meant, NOT SEEING YOU, NOT HEARING FROM YOU! Everytime I wanna see you, I look at myself into the mirror and I look deep into my eyes & I see you. Everytime I wanna listen to you I close my eyes and I be with my silence and I'd listen to your voice.




I remember the time we last met. It was on a rainy day. I came to see ONLY YOU for which you suspected me. I was able see that in your eyes. I was so hurt that day. I was terribly hurt like the way you were hurt. But I wanted to make things work. I didn't go back to my family even they were so supportive. You never gave me a chance to even explain how much pain that I'll go through if you are not around in my life. I thought your presence was my strength. My belief didn't prove me wrong.


Yeah, I felt I was a hallow soul without your presence.

You were surrounding me every minute with your thoughts. You were my atmosphere. I was breathing you. All of a sudden I find it dark and there is no breeze around. I can't even see anything. I'm not breathing. I don't like being like this, I don't want you to be the reason for my hurt. For what we have for each other this is also beyoond our imaginations.

Like the way I never imagined in mt life that I'll ever get to meet someone like you. But I acutally did. I never imagined that I'll be able to introduce you to my family so soon that we hardly knew each other. I simply believed in the bonding. I believed in you. I never imagined that I'll ever get to love someone so much. I never ever imagined that I'd ever miss someone so much. I never imagined that I'd get to through such a tough time of 6 months without seeing you. Did we even imagine that we'd not be together on our first year anniversary the moment we looked into each other's eyes the very first day we met!! I still believe!!!






I'm not calling this my fate! I'm not calling this my bad time. All that I know is that we went apart so that we will meet again! I promise you that I'll be praying hard to see you again in my life and I promise you that these eyes of mine will look at you the way when they first saw you!

With Love !


Aksie as u know me! Karthik Ravi as how I met you!
I'm all of you!!

A path which never ends!!

i have walked this road before and it seemed lonely too
i haven't felt that way though ever since i met you
the road hasn't changed but the feeling seems wrong
i will be walkin this road with you but not for long!

you numbed my senses, you dried my tears
now that your leaving, you dug up my fears
have you thought about how it will be?
surviving this world without you near me!

you chose your path, am still on this road
my shoulders are heavy, so is the load
your path maybe different, but we travel the same
hope our paths merge into one beautiful lane!

With the Shadows....

Busy Streets
Stranger's Talk
Tall buildings
Peaceful Walk

Crowded Buses
Your favourite seat
Train Stations,
Gentlemens dressed so neat

Work hours so long
Breaks too short
Timings so unfair
Nothing really taught

Beautiful Evenings
Pointless talk
Cozy Bed
Comfy shoes

Soft Kisses
Endless Calls
Food marathon
Strolling Malls

Meals to eat
Work to do
Researching studies
Friends Old & New

Long Playlist
Soft melodies
Whispers of Goodnight
Endless lullabies

Here At home
I feel all alone
I'm missing you..
Knowing that you're gone..

I Wrote, Wrote, Wrote & I Wrote...

My dearest Tummy Girl,

Hope you're doing better now. Its been 6 odd months since I've heard from you. Its only our photographs which gives me those lost smiles of mine. I've been trying to talk to you. I've been trying, trying, trying trying and trying to get in touch with u somehow.. But no one seems to be helping me out.. I know tat its my responsibility, I even wrote you a 50 post cards and none were responded.. I don't even know if they reached you..

I saw you couple of times with mom.. U still looked worried about something.. I'm not in your life anymore.. I'm just watching you live.. Baby girl we're meant to be together.. I'll let you go now.. But you'll have to come back to me.. I'll be waiting for the day baby and I'll smile at you with a lot of JOY...

Its not what they want, Its not what I want.. Its all about what you want baby...

I know what you want and only we can make things work!! For all the good times we had together!! I pray and wish to GOD that all the good things which were supposed to happen should happen anytime soon and I should hold my babie girl's hands no matter what happens!!

I'M waiting for the day!!

I LOVE YOU and I'll always will!! Thats the reality!!

Come back soon! I'm still waiting!!


Love, Aks!

Why are u running Away???

I don't want you, to give it all up
And leave your own life, collecting dust
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side
To tell me, that everything's alright
I just wanted you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

Cause I did enough, to show you that I
Was willing to give, and sacrifice
And I was the one, who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that, I can do
To make you, change your mind

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Tell me the truth so that I can live!!

Shut me up someone!

'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

....... Yeah Seriously Nothing...

You don't have to say a word
I can see it in your eyes
I know what you wanna say
It's so hard to say goodbye

I can hold back my tears
And try to be strong
While our love is fallin' apart
I know what I'll say
If you walk away
But what do I do
What do I do with my heart?

I'm not gonna say a word
I know I can't change your mind
You know where you need to go
I know I'll be left behind

I won't hold you back
I won't stand in your way
If you need to make a new start
But I still wanna know
When my arms let you go

Oh, girl, don't you remember?
It was not so long ago
We were making plans for two
Just me and you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me you're not leavin' now
Tell me you're not leavin'
Tell me that you're gonna stay
Please say you'll stay with me, baby
Tell me that you love me still
Say you love me still
For this and this alone I pray
Fall down on my knees and pray

I'll do anything
Yes, I would
To save what we have
To keep you by my side
I'll love you 'til death do us part
But what do I do
What do I do
When I'm still missing you?
What do I do
What do I do with my heart?

...... No no Nothing.....

Another day without your smile !!
Another day just passes by !!
But now i know how much it means !!!
For you to stay right here with me !!
The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger !!!
But it hurts so bad i can't take it any longer!!

A thousand miles between us now !!
It causes me to wonder how !!
Our love tonight remains so strong !!
It makes our risk right all along !!

Things can come and go!!
I know but !!!
Baby I believe !!
Something's burning strong between us !!
Makes it clear to me !!

I wanna grow old with you !!
I wanna die lying in your arms !!
I wanna grow old with you !!
I wanna be looking in your eyes !!
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do !!
I wanna grow old with you !!

My imaginary Mind!

How bad it has been, How lonely I've been.. Even though I've spent lonely time umpteen times in my life before, never felt the depth of being alone so much.. I'm not here to complain, I'm here to puke and dust away all the fears and worries that has been choking me every minute. Why am I pushed to such a situation that I'm not able to do anything right. I'm not able to make a decision, really don't know why?! My education is still in question because I've not decided anything. I haven't taken a step ahead to take it anymore further. I'm just stuck here in this BPO and getting paid enough. I know that its gonna do " No good" for my carrier. Last saturday I actually realised that I had no one except for myself. I got back home after a long day and my body was hurting as if I was hammered all over the body. I didn't wanna bother my aunt and granny just knowing the fact that they were growing old. So I thought I'll leave them alone at peace, bought some food for myself & I was finding it so difficult to move myself to the terrace with the bed spread and some cushions. I somehow managed to set myslelf on the terrace and the cool wind was so pleasing to my whole body, yet I was getting so stressed with the body ache. I turned on the music and played some soft rock and it was soothing my mind for a while. I was wondering why I wasn't feeling sleepy. I was wondering why there isn't anyone to ask me if I had something to eat. But for a moment I thought I really don't need anyone. I've wasted so many weekends doing nothing but this weekend was quite hurting. I wasn't happy at all. I felt like as if I was cursed. I wanted to scream out loud that I'm missing someone, but no strength. My phone was on silent. I didn't wanna bother anyone. I've been breaking other people's privacy fence and i've been ruining their peace with my sulky things. As I was lying down on the cushions, I rested my head to the floor and I was starring at the sky. The breeze was getting firm and I was feeling cold. The music went deep down my head and it got lost in my worries. I was so very weak that I wasn't able to get up and stop the music. I somehow managed to reduce the volume and it was playing " Nothing else matters- Metallica" at the background. I was in depression. As the time went by I realised that the food which I had bought was getting cold but I was too lasy to eat as well, but my stomach was grumbling, I got up and served myself and I somehow finished eating with a lots of difficulties.

I was making myself comfortable to stare at the sky again, by the time the moon wasn't that bright. I was feeling really low and started thinking how far I've come in life. I haven't done anything meaningful except for keeping my folks happy in all the possible ways, but they're still worried about my happiness and I have no idea how i'm gonna full-fill that desire for them.\I lost lot of things in life at a very short span of time & everything seemed like a beautiful little dream. If i knew that it was a dream I would have never got up from that sleep! The moment She left me and the moment I started spending time alone, everything seemed so dark. I was so lost. I've even stared at this sky with her. I've even counted stars under this same sky. I even remember the way I took her here for the first time. She was wearing a purple Salwar and looked so beautiful, I can still see her ripples that used to come on her forehead whenever there was heavy breeze. I still remember the way I helped her climbing the water tank & I can even smell her perfume in this air. I could even sense her presence sometimes in this place. I'm so alone and I'm so sure that I love her so much. I
haven't had this feeling ever before in my life and I'm not bothered about anything else in my life now. All that matters much to me is the name " Aparna" and that person had affected my life so much. Never knew that she would stay with my in my " Memories". I just wanted to see it expanding a bit and mean " Aparna Karthik". I'm sure that I'll do really well in my life if she is around. I'm sure that I wouldn't be able to express my 100% if shez not gonna be around. I would remain a loss to this world. I wanna stand on top & I wanna touch the sky. It seemed so easy & I had to the ability to carry this whole big sky in my arms, but I'm feeling so weak and numb that I'm not able to feel anything! In sometime I realised that I had tears in my eyes and my back was numb. I couldn't move an inch & it was 1:00 am. It was so silent and I slowly got up from the bed. I took my phone & I rolled the bed spread , I starting walking back. Belive it or not I heard her voice calling me " Aksie, Why are you leaving me alone here???" ........... I stopped & I didn't turn back. I wasn't scared, I knew she was there. I knew she was right there with all the cute expressions on her face. I knew she'd run back and hug me so tight. All this would happen in my imaginations!


She is living in my memories. She always will...

Heavy heart!!

What am I doing?

You give your resignation letter at you first job and get back home with no worries???

What am I doing??

Staying up to listen to someone just cuz u liked talking to them??

What am I doing??

You don't even know that someone..

What am I doing??

You are not worried about anything in life now!!!!

What am I doing??

You smile to see tat scrap from that someone?!?!!

What am I doing??

You said you are not gonna get close to anyone?!?!

What am I doing?!?!

You thought you'll never like anything from anyone?!

What am I doing??

You are crazy!!!!

Where is this going??

NoWHERE!!!


So yeah .. I've put down my papers at work.. Yeah felt so heavy after doing it... I was collecting these ordianry work related print outs and that's what they thought.. .but I took out my " resignation letter " How sad.. Its a loss for them you see.. apparently for me as well :) So yea.. Some better carrer move..

Life has to move on..

Ada pongapaa!!!

Dont judge anyone!!

For you!!!

Do not judge anyone just because you know everything in life. The one you've met maybe just one of a kind!!

All in good times!! 

God bless!!!!

Ada poongapaa!!

Yeah break me when im lonesome!!

Dont blame anyone!!! They'll change :)

Another piece of Random S**T

It's high time I should do something about my randomness.. I'm living my life so randomly that I haven't come across one good thing so far in the past three months.. Good thing for me is = An awesome day, an awesome day for me is getting all I wanted.. "All" for me is " Someone who could make me laugh, someone who can stand my non-stop talks, someone who can have lunch with me, someone who can come go out with me without any reason, someone who can bear all this randomness..

This reminds me of the song

Might sound too much for asking.. But, " This is what the Reality".. This is what I want..


"Oru naalil varkai ingay yengum oodi pogathu
Maaru naalum vanthu vittal thunbam thedi thodaRadhu..
yethanai koodi kanneer mann mithu vizhruthirukkum
athanai kanda pinum pommi ingu poo pookum

Pozkalathil piranthu vittom vanthadhavai ponnavai varutham illai..
kaatrinilay vazhgindrom muzkkalin valli ondrum maaranam illai..
irutinilay nee nadakayillai un nizrallum unnai vittu villagividum..
nee mattum thaan intha ullagathilay unakku thunnai yendru villainge_vidum..
theeyodu pogum varaiyiL theerathu intha thanimaii..
kaarai varum neram paarthu karppalil kaathirupom..
yerimalai vanthal kooda yerri nindru poRz thoduppom.

adu yennakku ethu unnakku ithayagaL podum thani kannakku..
aval yennakku ival unnakku udagalum podum puthir kannakku..
unnakkum illai inthu yennakkum illai paadaiththaavaanai ingu yedduthu kollvan..
nallavar yaar ada kettavar yaar kadaisiyiL avanay mudivu seyivaan..
pazRi podum ullagam ingay balliyanna uyirgal yengayaay..
ullagathiL Oram nindru athanaiyum paarthirupom..
nadapavai nadagam yendru namum senndhu nadithirupom..



>Movie :- Pudhupettai

>Music : - Yuvan


Seriously.. This song has lot of meaning and it's very much attached somehow to everyone's life.. But no one realises it..

Ok.. What was I sayin?? Yeah randomness.. I know how to stop this for now..

Music is the only way..

Hey, I guess there is a video on you-tube about vijay.. I think even he's pissed about something..

After all.. We have only one brain.. :) But how come everyone's thoughts sink together atleast once in their lifetime?? Don't call it " Co- incidence"...

Life is just Randomn.,..

Random"ing off......

Karthik :)

~ Never done this before ~

 Hey missed you all...

I had some bad experiences in the past few days... Like few days ago I had a bad day at work & ended up with a bad headache & day before I wasn't feeling so well the whole day & the very next day I wanted to get drunk after such a Long ( Long with a capital " L " ) time.. 

I was talking to this DJ girl who supposed to be an acquaintance and we turned to be really good friends ( If that's what I'm saying) and this girl plays music in hawana.. We haven't met like personally and all that.. But this time I was so very drunk already but she wanted to see me still, I knew that I'll make it somehow and yeah I went to see her... 

For her eyes I was looking like a 16 year old who was drunk.. I wasn't really feeling comfortable & we sat near the parking lot and we wanted to smoke.. We were talking yet and I was making her uncomfortable with my stupid talks and all of SUDDEN my stupid mind works weird and I actually asked her if she wanted to stay out ( No intentions at all ). I was feeling alone and wanted someone to talk with.. 

How stupid have I been? I'm hating this part of the life!!!! 

But, still life just goes on!!!

I need a change!!

ITS 22.03 and I don't wanna sleep!!!